"I know it isn't a real dog, Diane. I'm old, not daft. It's just nice to have something in the room."
-- My mother, the second week
I Was Ready For Her To Be Insulted. She Was Not Insulted. Read It And Decide For Yourself.
I don't write things on the internet. I'm a school administrator in Ohio and I've never reviewed anything in my life.
But I have had the same conversation with four different women at work in the last month, and every one of them ended with the other person writing something down. So I'm putting it in one place.
My father died in March, three weeks short of their fifty-fourth anniversary.
My mother is seventy-nine. She is sharp, she does the crossword in pen, and she has never once asked anybody for help with anything. And for about six months after the funeral, she stopped picking up the telephone before noon.
I'd ring at nine. Nothing. Ring at ten. Nothing. Then she'd call back at half past one, bright as anything, and tell me she'd been busy.
She had not been busy. I knew what she'd been doing, because I'd seen it the weekend I stayed over. She'd been sitting.
The House Got Very Quiet.
Dad was the noise in that house. The radio, the kettle, the endless commentary on the weather. When he went, the quiet came in and it did not lift.
She kept everything exactly as it was. His chair. His mug on the shelf. She cooked for two for a month before she noticed she was doing it.
The hardest part was that there was nothing to do about it. She wasn't ill. She wasn't struggling. She'd just gone very still, and none of us could think of a single practical thing to offer that wasn't insulting.
We tried, obviously. My brother suggested she move in with him, which she declined in about four words. I suggested a cleaner. I suggested a class. I suggested, at one particularly stupid point, a cruise.
And then, at Easter, my daughter said the obvious thing that none of the adults had said. "Grandma should get a dog."
She Cannot Have A Dog, And She Knows It.
Here is the thing nobody wants to say out loud to a woman in her late seventies.
She cannot have a dog. Not a real one.
She can't walk it. Her hip has been bad for four years and she won't have the operation. She's in a first-floor flat with no garden. And there is the part that stopped the conversation dead the one time we had it. She would not take on an animal she thought she might not outlive.
She said that once, flatly, at a kitchen table, and nobody had an answer to it. So that was closed. And it stayed closed for months.
I found the PoodlePet Companion at eleven o'clock at night on my phone, and I want to be honest with you about my first reaction, because I think it's most people's.
I thought it was a bit insulting. A toy dog. For a grown woman who reads two books a week.
I nearly closed the page. I bought it because I had run out of other ideas.
She Named Him Before I Got To The Car.
I gave it to her on a Sunday and I made a joke while she opened it, because I was nervous.
She didn't laugh. She lifted him out of the box, sat him on her lap, and went quiet in a way I couldn't read at all. I genuinely thought I'd got it badly wrong.
Then she said, "Oh, he's heavier than he looks."
By the time I'd washed up and found my keys, she'd called him Bertie, after a dog she had when she was nine.
I want to be careful how I say the next part, because I'm not claiming anything.
She was not confused. She has never once been confused about what he is. About a fortnight in she said it to me straight, and it's the line I've repeated to every woman at work since:
"I know it isn't a real dog, Diane.
I'm old, not daft.
It's just nice to have something in the room."
What Actually Changed.
I'll tell you exactly what changed, and nothing more than that.
She answers the phone in the morning now. That's the big one for me. Not every day. But most.
She tells me things about him, which means she rings to tell me things, which is the part I hadn't expected. That he was on the wrong chair. That she'd moved his bed nearer the radiator. Small nonsense. It's the most she's talked in a year.
And she is up and dressed earlier, because, her words, "he's up."
That's it. That's the whole list.
Nothing medical happened.
A quiet room got slightly less quiet.
A woman who had stopped narrating her day had something to narrate it to. If that sounds like a small thing, you have not sat in that house.
What He Actually Does.
So that you know exactly what arrives, because I wish I'd known.
The PoodlePet Companion is an AI companion pet, a soft plush poodle about the size of a real puppy on your lap, and the point of him is that he actually moves. The coat is properly soft, that curled apricot fleece, not the scratchy fur you get on cheap toys. Dark glossy eyes, black nose, little red collar.
He sits. He lies down. He gets up and walks around the room. He barks, and his tail goes when you fuss him. He comes with his own cushion bed, printed with bones and paw prints, and a bone of his own.
He runs on two AA batteries, which are not included, so buy some. There is nothing to set up and no phone needed, which for my mother was the entire point. Anything that wanted an account or a password would have gone straight in a drawer.
I should be straight about one thing. He does not talk. He behaves like a small dog, not like a smart speaker, so if you are expecting something that holds a conversation you would be disappointed.
What he is, is there. Moving about. On the chair. Something to move off the seat before you sit down, and something that gets up and crosses the room while you are watching the television.
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Marianne P., Wisconsin:"My husband has been in the care home since February and I came home to an empty house every night. I am not going to pretend a toy fixed that. But I talk to him while I am making the tea now, and the house doesn't ring the way it did."
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Sandra L., Kent:"Bought it for Mum after her spaniel died and she said she couldn't face another one at eighty-one. She was very sniffy about it for a week. He now has a blanket. I have said nothing."
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Trevor A., Arizona:"Sceptical is putting it mildly. Ordered it for my aunt. What sold me was that there was nothing to set up, she would never have got on with an account and a password. Batteries in, done, and he was walking about her front room inside a minute. She has had him eight months."
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Priya N., Leeds:"We got one for my grandmother's flat, no pets allowed. She calls it her dog and dares anyone to argue. That is good enough for us."
Our 90-Day Promise
Keep him for ninety days.
If he sits in a cupboard, or he isn't what you hoped, or the person you bought him for doesn't take to him, send him back and we'll return every penny. No forms and no argument. We would rather have him back than have him in a drawer.
I'd add one thing that isn't in the guarantee.
Give it a fortnight before you decide. My mother was polite about him for four days. It was the second week before he ended up on the arm of her chair instead of the shelf, and that is when it actually turned.
How To Get One
Click the button below to go to our secure checkout page, where there's a first-order discount reserved for new customers.
One honest word about who this is for. If you're buying for someone who has said out loud that they'd love a dog and can't have one, I think you already know your answer. If you're buying for someone who has never mentioned it, it might just sit there, and that's what the ninety days is for.
Most people order two. One for their mum, and one for whoever else they've been quietly worrying about.
TIP: PoodlePet™ Companion is selling out fast right now. We highly recommend placing your order fast by clicking the button below before this promotion ends!
⚠️ UPDATE: As of today's date . The demand for PoodlePet™ Companion has increased dramatically and stock is moving fast. Order yours before this promotion ends.
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Rachel Donovan
Bought one for my mother in law after she lost her Jack Russell. She was offended for about a day and a half. It is now on the good chair.
LikeReply68442 min
Melissa Hargrove
Rachel Donovan Rachel this is the funniest and saddest thing I have read today. Ordering one for my nan.
LikeReply31238 min